I was reading one of the talks from President nelson on Tuesday and there are a few important things that I’d like with you all, these things are a huge part of my marriage and in my opinion, the reason why me and my wife have such a good relationship. President nelson talks about three things that are very important to nurturing marriage: to appreciate, to communicate, and to contemplate., I will quote him and share my own experience in marriage with each one.

To appreciate: “As grateful partners look for the good in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and husbands will strive to become the persons described in those compliments.”

It often happens to me that my wife compliments me, and I feel like she’s just being nice to me, but she actually means it, the other day she told me that she liked my outfit and that she loved me so much. We say we love each other a lot, but sometimes it feels different, sometimes it hits different, knowing there is someone there that loves you makes you feel more committed to that person and makes you want to be better for that person that loves you. 

To Communicate: “Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood.” If you have ever moved from one house to another, you know how much preparation needs to be done, I’m not talking about moving to another dorm, but moving to another house with your family. I and my wife have done that 2 times, but to different countries and its stressful, there are a lot of important things that need to be taken care of in advance, and the time and communication with each other during those times gets really reduced, as we are trying to get over this challenge together. When we moved to the US we realized we stopped doing things we love to do together and that we didn’t have those conversations that were really long and meaningful, because we were juggling settling in a new city, in a new country, after not studying for years, trying to get used to new jobs and without friends. Once we realized we had stopped doing our traditions, as we call them, we felt so much closer to the other one and so much more capable of facing all these new things together, communication is key, and sometimes going out of your house to a walk, or to a place that is unknown for you both is great to get to have this meaningful communication.

To contemplate: This word has deep meaning. It comes from Latin roots: con, meaning “with,” and templum, meaning “space or place to meditate.” It is the root from which the word temple comes. Me and my wife do this very often, one of the things we love to do is to see old pictures, from our wedding, or from trips we have made, or hikes or anything that we have available. The most common phrases we say are “we looked so young”, “can you believe we are here now”, “ we are way more mature”, and my favorite “how is it going to be like in x years?” we contemplate how far we have come and all we have achieved, from being in a very poor country in South America and lacking opportunities to grow in many aspects of life, to creating a whole new future of possibilities for us and for our families. Contemplating makes us feel a sense that we can achieve anything, if we are together, as a team. 

I invite you to keep these 3 things in mind and to assess periodically if there is anything lacking in these areas, me and my wife do and we love our relationship.